Depressive Episodes: They Always Start With Food

(tw: eating disorders, suicide) Do you know how I know I’m entering a depressive episode? I go vegan. Or low-carb. Or start weighing my food. Basically restrict my food in any way beyond my normal ‘safe’ foods. The only problem is, I don’t realise what’s happening whilst it’s happening. Baffling isn’t it? Whilst I’m weighingContinue reading “Depressive Episodes: They Always Start With Food”

Feel Your Feels and Fuck It All Off

I’m not good at feeling my feelings. I haven’t done it for a really long time. As they say the best thing about sobriety is getting your feelings back and the worst thing about sobriety is getting your feelings back. I’m angry a lot at the moment. I’m disappointed. I’m tired. I’m depressed. I’m anxious.Continue reading “Feel Your Feels and Fuck It All Off”

Why Am I So Desperate to Settle for Mediocre Dick?

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here. If I’m honest I’d lost my way a little with this blog. I’d started on one track, fell onto a different one, stepped over that one to another track and then ground to a halt somewhere I didn’t feel comfortable. I lost my way. WhichContinue reading “Why Am I So Desperate to Settle for Mediocre Dick?”

I Want To Murder People.

(cw: expletives, repeated mention of murder (non-graphic)) Honestly. I’ve been so fucking angry today. It’s 7 days before my period and my PMS is horrendous. That one week a cycle – like fucken clockwork – makes me vibrate like a Chihuahua filled with hatred. I’ll be sat on my sofa and then I’ll just standContinue reading “I Want To Murder People.”

Stop Telling Me ‘You’re Not Alone’

I know. I know. I say it. Every time I write it it gives me a funny little pang. Yet I say it because so many people do, it’s banded around like the band-aid for all. Knowing someone else feels the same doesn’t make me feel any better, what so ever. Talking to someone whoContinue reading “Stop Telling Me ‘You’re Not Alone’”

“What am I doing with my life?”

(cw: a lot of f*cking swearing) Well, what the fuck are you doing with your life? I’m writing this at midnight because I can’t sleep and I have to be up at 7am to pick up a van to start my move. What am I doing with my life? Right now, I should be asleepContinue reading ““What am I doing with my life?””

Cry Me a Fucking River

7 days sober. I’m fine. I’m totally fine and I don’t mean fine as in Ross Geller two batches of Margaritas down ‘fine’. I’m. Just. Fine. If I think about my lack of swinging emotions so much then anxiety does start to bubble up. Fine, for me, is neutral. It’s just ‘it was it is’Continue reading “Cry Me a Fucking River”

Becoming A Parent

I have a question for you this Sunday: what does the term ‘Inner Child’ mean to you? For me it conjures the idea that inside of me is a living breathing child. Young Meg, around 5 years old and fairly ubiquitous. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “Your inner child is the part of your personalityContinue reading “Becoming A Parent”

Let’s Talk Break-Ups

It’s Wednesday! Does it even matter! What is time anymore?! I’m on the home straight to be free from isolation. Luckily, no symptoms have manifested, but we aren’t out of the woods yet. Keep your fingers crossed, kids. Today I want to talk about break-ups, and not in the sense you may think: I wantContinue reading “Let’s Talk Break-Ups”

Self-Isolation & Why I’m Holding Wine in my Instagram

Happy Sunday Campers! How are we all? Hope you’re staying positive and testing negative. The NHS slid into my DMs last night with an order to self-isolate. For my non-UK readers, it means my phone (and me) have been within a certain distance of someone who has tested positive for coronavirus and so I nowContinue reading “Self-Isolation & Why I’m Holding Wine in my Instagram”