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(tw: eating disorders, suicide) Do you know how I know I’m entering a depressive episode? I go vegan. Or low-carb. Or start weighing my food. Basically restrict my food in any way beyond my normal ‘safe’ foods. The onlyContinue reading “Depressive Episodes: They Always Start With Food”
I’m not good at feeling my feelings. I haven’t done it for a really long time. As they say the best thing about sobriety is getting your feelings back and the worst thing about sobriety is getting your feelingsContinue reading “Feel Your Feels and Fuck It All Off”
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here. If I’m honest I’d lost my way a little with this blog. I’d started on one track, fell onto a different one, stepped over that one to another trackContinue reading “Why Am I So Desperate to Settle for Mediocre Dick?”
(cw: c-word expletives, VAWG) The UK is a massive dumpster fire at the moment. There’s widespread nationalism, creeping authoritarianism, major polarity, and looming fascism. It’s exhausting. Soul-crushing, deep-in-your-bones, depressive exhaustion. I’m finding it incredibly tough right now. I can’tContinue reading “How To Look After Your Mental Health When The World Feels Like One Big Dumpster Fire”
(tw: suicide, self harm, c-word expletives & mention of Piers Morgan) Meghan Markle’s admission of suicidal thoughts and the subsequent backlash is direct evidence of why so many people are fearful of speaking out about their mental illness. I’mContinue reading “Meghan Markle, Mental Illness & Emotion Shaming”
I know. I know. I say it. Every time I write it it gives me a funny little pang. Yet I say it because so many people do, it’s banded around like the band-aid for all. Knowing someone elseContinue reading “Stop Telling Me ‘You’re Not Alone’”
Why the New Netflix Documentary: ‘Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel’ Gets Everything Wrong
*** SPOILERS for Netflix’s Cecil Hotel Documentary ahead *** Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel is a Netflix documentary about the disappearance and death of Elisa Lam in 2013. Elisa Lam was a 21 year old Canadian,Continue reading “Why the New Netflix Documentary: ‘Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel’ Gets Everything Wrong”
(cw: a lot of f*cking swearing) Well, what the fuck are you doing with your life? I’m writing this at midnight because I can’t sleep and I have to be up at 7am to pick up a van toContinue reading ““What am I doing with my life?””
How do you date when you’re an alcoholic? I’ve drank and dated for years. I’ve slept with more people drunk than I have sober. In fact I haven’t had sober sex since I was 26. I’m now 30. MyContinue reading “How To Date When You’re an Alcoholic”
Happy Sunday Campers! How are we all? Hope you’re staying positive and testing negative. The NHS slid into my DMs last night with an order to self-isolate. For my non-UK readers, it means my phone (and me) have beenContinue reading “Self-Isolation & Why I’m Holding Wine in my Instagram”
We’re coming to the end of the toughest year of many of our lives. Firstly, con-grat-u-fucking-lations you’ve made it this far. However you managed it, you’ve smashed it. Now, the idea that because the Earth has completed another rotationContinue reading “‘New Year New Me’ Can Fuck Right Off”
Sunday’s daily meditation theme on my Calm app was Loneliness. I am absolutely petrified of loneliness. I don’t mean being on my own, I mean the feeling of loneliness. Some of the places I have felt the loneliest wereContinue reading “My Name’s Meg & I’m an Alcoholic”
Inject me with all that wellness shit. Seriously, warm up a plate, rack it up and I will snort the fuck out of anything wellness right now. Spotify wellness playlist? Hell yeah. Sign up to the Calm app? OHContinue reading “A List to Save and Use When You Aren’t Feeling Yourself”
Self-care. Face masks. Baths. Wine. Holy fuck, I love that shit. Yet am I doing it properly? If there is a proper way to do it. ‘It’ being self-care. Facemasks aren’t going to solve the problems in your soul.Continue reading “Getting Realistic With My Self-Care”
I’ve got years worth of notes on my phone: writing ideas, workouts, shopping lists etc. I go through them occasionally to see if I’ve got some good writing ideas to use. To be honest, it’s predominantly a load ofContinue reading “30 Things I’ve Written in My Notes App When Drunk”
I’m sat eating alone in a restaurant. I feel so warm and happy. I remember reading Cosmo (or the like) when I was younger. It gave advice on how to be an ‘independent woman’ and it said ‘Take yourselfContinue reading “Glossing Over the Intimate Details”
(from 20th October – pre-camino) I cannot get over how many people day drink here. Quite frankly, I fucking love it. However, I am not partaking because I (sadly) am a British-Day-Drinker which means once we start we don’tContinue reading “Bilbao, The Day-Drinkers and The Brit-In-Awe”
Fuck. I love swearing. I love laughing ‘til my stomach hurts. I love pasta. I love sleeping in a car as rain hits the windshield. I love McDonalds. I love peace and quiet. I love really messy raves. IContinue reading “Slap My Ass and Call Me a Romantic”
I’m sick. Not in the colloquial ‘I’m-cool/amazing/youthful-enough-to-use-this term’ sense. In the traditional Oxford Dictionary definition sense. Sick. /sɪk/ Adjective. affected by physical or mental illness. My brain is broken you see, it lies to me, it tries to getContinue reading “10/10 an impulsive decision”
Hi, I’m Meg. I have what I call a ‘tangled brain’ – it lies to me and engages me in self-destructive behaviour.
I’ve decided to stop letting my struggles call the shots and start exploring what it means to ‘live my best life’. This blog is where I talk about my journey with my mind, and my experiences.
Come with me as I navigate healing from trauma, grief, my borderline personality disorder, alcoholism and anxiety.
I’m a feminist.
I’m brutally honest.
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